Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Big Changes

Dear Addilyn, I can't believe I'm writing this post.  I remember the the first day I went back to work when you were 10 weeks old...I came home and put a for sale sign in our front yard and told your Daddy that I would live in a tent if I had to but that I was staying home with you.  I'm so thankful our house sold and my dreams came true.  I was finally a "Stay at Home Mom".  No, we don't live in a tent but we did make many changes and I've been so blessed to spend every hour with you.  You are now nearly 2 and really active.  I'd love to take you go see Winnie the Pooh, Branson, the Hot Springs Children Museum.  Soon enough, I will be able to.  Sometimes I feel guilty because you and I stay home (literally) and I think I may be doing more harm because I can't take you out to do things.  I want you to be confident, social, and experience life.  It's hard to experience life when there is no gas in the car.  Oh I know, because I have said it, there are so many things you can do at home and believe me you and I have done them!  We've taken walks down the road, we've rode in the wagon the Grandma's house, we've walked up the hill to Tim and Toni's to play on their swing set, we've gone to Rick and Blue's to see the animals, we've gone to the playground, we've gone to church gym and the nursery.  We've played on the slip n slide and in the pool, we've blown and chased bubbles, we've chased our chickens, we've spent countless hours in the airplane swing.......we've done all these things many times over and now you are bored.  Mommy is bored.  You go to the door and waive "bye bye" but I can't take you anywhere except to drive around down on the lake or sometimes to Chick Fil A.  I've done all I can with trying to stretch our babysitting money..but groceries and gas cost more.  So, we are about to have some changes.  Mommies heart is so full of emotions.  I love you so much and want what is best for you.  If I could stay home and still take you to play dates, put tires on Daddy's car, buy you a new Easter dress, pay for groceries instead of charging them, take you to Silver Dollar City then life would be perfect. But, that isn't possible.  One of Momma's old jobs is open.  It's a good job with lots of vacation, close to home, and flexibility.  I just so happened to see it posted.  (Thank you Lord)  I started looking for daycare.  I went to one last night and wasn't happy.  Last night I cried in bed and told your Daddy that if it was meant for me to go back to work then you would get into one that I really wanted, but didn't have an opening at this time.  Today I wasn't even excited for my job interview because I had already made up my mind that I wasn't taking you any other place.  I toured another daycare and left there nearly in tears.  I was going to get my phone to call your Daddy and tell him NO WAY when I saw I had a voicemail.  Guess what?  It was the one daycare I wanted and they just so happened (Thank you Lord) to have an opening today.  More tears!  Happy tears!  God worked it all out....... starting in a couple weeks you will be going to "school" and your teacher will be a girl from church.  Another girl from church works there too and your little cousin will be in your class.  The only thing that could be better would be if Momma was your teacher! ha .  Then you'd be even more rotten.  Momma loves you so much and I pray that you enjoy getting out more and playing with kids.  I really think your speech is about to explode.  I just pray you don't cry and hand onto me when I drop you off.  I really want you to like it.  Praying, praying, praying.....   Love you baby girl,

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